Mother’s Day is rapidly approaching (this Sunday, you slackers!), and since gamers seem to just LOVE forcing games on their non-gaming family members, I’m sure quite a few have thought of giving their mother a video game on her special day. I mean, why not? You love video games. You came from her loins, so surely there’s something in her that will love video games too.
My son has a similar logic. I like video games. He likes video games. He wants to play Five Nights at Freddy’s, so surely if I play that I’ll understand why he wants to play it so much, right? OH HELL NO. I want nothing to do with those Showbiz Pizza horror rejects, and he’s too young to play that game anyway. I don’t care if his friends are allowed to play it. There’s a reason I warned the Parents’ Association about it, and stop trying to make me like the random crap you do.
So with that in mind, here are the worst video game gifts you could possibly give your Mom for Mother’s Day.
Essential Reading
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- 10 Best Video Game Pigs
- I Fired My Family From Co-Op Gaming
Worst Mother's Day Gifts
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Mortal Kombat X
Mortal Kombat X is pretty much the epitome of games non-gaming moms DON'T want you to play. If you want to confirm her fears that gaming will indeed turn you into a murdering psychopath, then this is a perfect gift. Or maybe you take personal delight in watching her turn every shade of green when she witnesses her first X-Ray attack sequence. Unless you've heard her specifically say she's been dying for this game, don't even think about it.
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Any Game on This List
This list I found doing a random Google search is insulting to non-gaming moms everywhere. Don't be a condescending whelp and buy her any of these games, even if you hope maybe one of these will turn her into the cool gaming mom you've always wanted.
Although, I do have to give a special exception to Flower, because everyone should play that game.
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PSVR
If you buy your mother PSVR, it's only going to backfire on you. Once you show her one game, even something as simple as Job Simulator, she's going to be gone forever. She'll be stuck in this virtual reality world that she never wants to leave, because in this world, her kids obey her and do their own laundry. Therefore, she won't be doing your laundry. Although seriously, if you're buying games for her, do your own damn laundry.
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Any Call of Duty
You don't want your mother to know how people on the PSN really talk to strangers, do you? You know that's a one-way ticket to ensuring she cancels your PS Plus account and blocks your PS4 IP from the house Wi-Fi, right? Oh sure, you can joke that she won't know how to do that, but believe me, she'll find someone who does.
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Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Buying her Skyrim as a gift can go one of two ways. Either she'll be so overwhelmed by the lack of instruction on how to play and what to do she'll wonder why you hate her enough to make her play this, OR she'll love it so much, you won't get your PS4 controller back. Ever. She belongs to the world of Skyrim now. Once again, your laundry won't get done. Why aren't you doing your own laundry, again?
