Mickey Mouse has been a lot of things during his 90 years as a pop culture icon: sailor, hotel manager, composer and, as the Kingdom Hearts trailer celebrating the Disney mascot’s birthday is only too keen to point out, he is right at home wielding a Keyblade, too.
From humble beginnings as a no-show right up until the final moments of Kingdom Hearts to his dealings with Organization XIII and beyond, Mickey Mouse has played a pivotal role in the franchise and, with his 1928 Steamboat Willie debut reaching a significant milestone this year, Square Enix felt it was only right to showcase the indelible mark he’s left on the series.
My favorite moment in the Kingdom Hearts trailer? It’s gotta be the Matrix-style shenanigans Mickey gets up to when getting ready to swing his Keyblade. It’s utterly, utterly ridiculous and just one of the hundreds of reasons why I love the series. No other franchise would drop its most famous character off the face of the Earth in the very first game and then bring him back as a psuedo-Neo, just with a cooler sense of style.
Hopefully that’ll whet your appetite before Kingdom Hearts 3 but surely not as much as the hours-long story recap included with the 2019 release will. Who would have thought a story starring Mickey Mouse would need to pull you to one side for hundreds of minutes on end just so you have a tentative grasp on what’s going on?
Kingdom Hearts 3 Worlds
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San Fransokyo (Big Hero 6)
And make Baymax a guest character, like a suped-up version of Goofy with insane HP and defense. And he casts cure a lot. I suppose the more offensive version of Baymax with the Karate thing and the rocket punch are options, but that's not how I remember the character. Options are nice, but if there's only one, I would prefer the cute balloon bot I fell in love with.
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The Incan Empire (The Emperor's New Groove)
When we were kids, our grandpas used to tell us that some day, our video games would be in 3D and look like movies and include the voices of David Spade, John Goodman, and Patrick Warburton. Let's make their dream a reality. Yzma is such a fun villain, the locations could be super fun to run around in with its architecture and designs.
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Star Wars
I've never seen a Star Wars movie from start to finish, but you can't live in a first-world country without having a basic familiarity with the general gist. I resisted at first, but after some consideration, yeah, I'd be excited to see R2D2, Harrison Ford (or whatever his character's name is), Luke Walkingsky, and Growly Fur Monster done up in Kingdom Hearts style. Plus, the Dark Side is a perfect match for the Heartless. It'd be easy to write the plot into this one.
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London (The Great Mouse Detective)
There could be a great puzzle in which we help Basil follow clues leading to a boss fight with Ratigan. Plus, who doesn't want to jump all over Big Ben and London Bridge -- perhaps as it is falling down, falling down?
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Scotland (Brave)
Oh come on, this practically writes itself. Take me to the fricking beautiful Scottish Highlands in video game form. In fact, more video games should take place there. In fact, BRB...
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Scotland Continued
But yeah. The environmental possibilities, boss fight versus that evil bear, and possible Merida in the party with A.I. programming to hang back and pick deadly shots from a distance? That's too good to pass up.
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Rapunzel's Kingdom (Tangled)
I've heard this one is already confirmed as being in the game, so that's awesome. What it definitely needs is someone using a frying pan as a weapon -- be it Flynn, Rapunzel, or whoever. Oh man, could we get a frying pan Keyblade with a shitload of attack but no magic power? That'd be fun.
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Arendelle (Frozen)
Oh I'm sure it's the hip thing on the internet to hate Frozen now, but I urge you to consider this important fact: fuck you. That shit was a good movie with a neat setting and great characters. I'd love to head on out to Arendelle and possibly have Elsa as a guest character. Holy shit do I wanna see her blast stuff with ice magic. "Do you wanna build a snow...mass grave for your enemies?" You're damn right I do.
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Australia (The Rescuers Down Under)
Dude, you could have a part where you're riding the giant bird, you could fight off a pit full of crocodiles, all kinds of stuff. It's also a nice way to tip a hat towards one of Disney's most underrated movies. Speaking of riding on stuff...
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Millions of Years Ago (The Good Dinosaur)
I want to ride the shit out of that.
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Wreck-It Ralph
The licensing for Bowser and some other game characters might be ruled out, but if they're not, what a megaton that'd be. Either way, you could make a pretty cool world out of the original creations. We went inside a computer with Tron (which everyone mocked at first), and I think we can go inside an arcade game with Wreck It Ralph.
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Toy Story
I don't know if Tom Hanks and Tim Allen are within the budget, but if they are, this needs to happen. Fighting off Sid's dog is something I'd be into. And think of the platforming potential within places like a kid's bedroom, Al's Toy Barn, or Pizza Planet.
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A Human Body (Inside Out)
Yes.
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Not Under the Sea Again (The Little Mermaid)
You know what place is never fun?
Down in the ocean, that's the one.
With possibilities brimming,
leave out the swimming,
under the sea. -
Not (Other) Marvel
I know I'll draw some ire here, but I can't really care. I can deal with Star Wars, but Marvel is too different. True, Kingdom Hearts began as a mash-up of things so different, we were all morbidly curious. We've got enough interesting stuff that feels way, way more at home with Kingdom Hearts than the Marvel super heroes. As much as X-Men was the coolest fricking thing on TV as a kid, and naturally some of the dopest Heroclix, it just doesn't feel right. As a man who lives by the gut, I can't stamp my approval on the Marvel thing.
Update: This slide has been edited from its original form to separate it from Big Hero 6, whose recent movie is so Disney it's basically its own entity. In fact, in Japan, the movie is simply called "Baymax," because the point is the robot and his relationship with Hiro. That's entirely different from Wolverine, Captain America, and Spider Man. One fits, the other doesn't. Sorry, Marvel fans. I just can't.
